I was literally pouring blood through allot of this pregnancy and prayed constantly. Then then my life was getting ready to change forever!

I went into labor at 26 weeks gestation. I had been in labor all night before I realized that’s what it was, mostly out of fear probably. Finally I told my husband I needed to go in and he quickly drove me, he was on 3rd shift and just gotten home.

We went to the hospital, by then I pretty much knew I was in Labor, the nurses hooked me up to a heart monitor and she kept looking at me funny, she would leave the room and come back in check and finally she says “its reading that your not even contracting”. I sat there thinking man I must really be nuts.

A doctor walked in about then, went to do a pelvic exam and says before she starts is your in allot of pain I can see this and does the exam, well I am 6 centimeters dilated. She sees my membrane is ready to erupt and says we need to do an emergency cesarean. I started crying, my oldest son Justen was 32 weeks gestation when he was born and in 1990 he only had a 10% chance of surviving. Well it was 1999 when I went into labor with Gabriel. But I didn’t know that technology has changed. (This much)

They had the c-section and I went to my room empty handed. That night I went to where the NICU was and finally got to see my son.

I entered the NICU alone. It was scary because it was the sites and smells. Washing my hands and putting a gown over my hospital clothes. As I walked through I could see babies with machines hooked up all over. Beeps and buzzes. I seen monitors with heart rates. Little tiny babies with tubes all over. Some babies full term. I couldn't believe my eyes.  So many thoughts entered my mind that day and one was these are babies fighting for their lives that were the same age as aborted babies. Then I saw my son Gabriel.

 Oh my gosh he was so small. His little feet were bruised from blood draws. I seen tubes and monitors everywhere. I was told not to touch Gabriel as the stress was to hard on him right now. I say by his bed and read to him and sang to him quietly. When I started talking to Gabriel his heart rate was improving. But he was so sensitive I couldn’t hold him. He was 2 pounds 10 ounces. 15 inches long. (He dropped his weight to 1 pound 7 ounces for awhile but he soon started regaining.)

I went to my room and cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. I felt helpless. I wanted to comfort my baby that was fighting for his life.

I had a small journal wrote of my stay. When it was time to go home I was heart broken. But It made me a stronger person later. I went back and forth for 2 months through downfalls and ups. He was bagged 3 times (which is a life saving procedure).

I remember going back and forth from home to the hospital every 2 hours. Nursing him. God was teaching me, guiding me and carrying me through this rough road. We cried many tears worried about our son.

Finally 2 months later with a heart monitor, we got to bring Gabriel home at 4 pounds 07 ounces.